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Violence in gay romance isn’t sexy

Fighting isn’t foreplay. Stop it.

Kate Aaron
4 min readMay 17, 2020
Photo by Christian Sterk on Unsplash

CW: discussion of domestic abuse, sexual violence, intimate partner violence.

Almost a third of sexual minority men, and one half of women, report being a victim of domestic abuse. For psychological abuse the figure is even higher: over half of queer men and 75 percent of queer women report being victimised by a romantic partner. A 2013 study by the CDC estimated 4.1 million LGB Americans have experienced domestic abuse in their lifetimes.

Studies on violence in queer relationships account for only around 3 percent of the total research on the subject, but they routinely show that domestic violence within the LGB population occurs at least as often as within the heterosexual population, and is likely even more prevalent among sexual minorities.

Outcomes for queer victims of domestic abuse are also more difficult. From lack of familial and social support, to community ostracisation, loss of employment, poverty, and homelessness, the LGB community commonly has less resources to fall back on when things go wrong. The unique risk factors related to minority stress might even be an underlying cause behind the higher rate of domestic violence within queer relationships.

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Kate Aaron
Kate Aaron

Written by Kate Aaron

Bestselling author. Marketing strategist. Queer history buff. She/her 🏳️‍🌈 https://kateaaron.com

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